Confessions of a 30 year-old: Ready.. Aim.. Fire!

I've always been scared of guns. I'm also scared of chainsaws, hammers, balisongs (fan knife), and anything which when remotely used on a person, will get him hurt. I think one of the bigger reason is because me and my siblings were raised in a rather peaceful environment. "No violence allowed," sabi nga ng mom ko. As a matter of fact, even until now, violent and horrid movies or tv shows are not allowed inside the house. If news on tv consists of anything patayan, barilan, saksakan, and whatnot, the channel almost automatically gets changed. My mom even went as far as to cover my brother's eyes during the Jurassic Park movie. Masyado daw violent ang dinosaurs.

So anyway, I'm not complaining. As a matter of fact, I am thankful that I've been raised this way. I really don't like people getting hurt.. Or in this case, using a tool which was primarily designed to hurt a person. So why then you ask, did I ever want to try firing a pistol? Because I want to conquer my fear of using such an intense tool and feeling the power run over my hands.. Because I want to understand how people can use such things in a very casual way.. And because I just really want to know how heavy it is. Hehe.

I never imagined myself holding on to, much less shooting a real gun. But when our guide Kuya Cute (I swear, that's the name he told us!) made me hold on to my rented .9mm CZ47 SP 01 pistol, I realized that there was no backing out. Kuya guide taught me the proper grip.. both hands firm on the gun handle. And as soon as you will pull the trigger, make sure that more pressure is applied from your left hand.. this way, you get more control over the gun. I squinted my right eye, to try to align the markers in the front site of the pistol and the target. Kuya guide told me that #1) I looked ridiculous and #2) the proper way is to squint both eyes a little.

Pardon my looking funny.. but it was really hard squinting!

I was so scared that I was shaking a little when I was about to fire. After a few seconds more, I inhaled, I exhaled and then I finally pulled the trigger. The feeling was intense! I saw a spark from the muzzle of the gun, I felt the gun recoil a bit upwards, I heard a loud bang, and I felt my body being pushed back.. And these all happened in just a fraction of a second. I immediately placed the gun back down on the table, I stepped back and I stared at Kuya guide. My hands were trembling weirdly and I felt so so scared. My mind was trying to replay the things I saw and the feelings I felt that I couldn't understand what Kuya guide and my friend were telling me. Apparently, they were saying that I had a good shot, and that it was right at the bulls eye.

My first 3 shots were right smack in the middle.

After a few more moments of me trying to calm down from that really intense feeling, I took the gun again, assumed my previous stance, squinted at the target and fired again. And I fired, and fired and fired. I consumed a total of 30+bullets. Kuya guide was very proud that out of that total, only 3 bullets from me were outside the bulls eye area!

Kuya guide looking on as I try to apply his tips while i shoot the pistol

Believe it or not, MY shots are those in the white area. The ones below it are my friend's. Haha!

But even after all those, I still never felt comfortable holding on to and firing a gun. The power a gun has is totally incredible. Like it rushes through your hands, onto your arms, your body, and every shot just takes over. For a girl like me, it was really scary. I mean, I can't understand why some people can use guns just like that. I know, I know, "to each his own.." But this is different.